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Man's Toupee Flies Away In Storm Now In The Lord's Hands

“It’s just my size!” - Jesus

Friday morning Eugene Timbers was walking his goldendoodle during a storm when his toupee flew off his head in a gust of wind. Eugene reached his hands up to try to grab it but like an eagle it took off into the abyss.

A passerby heard the toupee say “Now’s my chance to see the world! It’ll look like an accident!” as the hairpiece ascended away from Eugene into the jet stream to float across the United States.

As the toupee tossed and turned in the wind, a shadowy apparition of Jesus appeared in the clouds. His apparition followed the toupee as he whispered “would be nice to have it on hand just in case you know?” before he quickly floated after the hairpiece like a duck chasing a bread crumb.

Eugene hopped in his SUV to chase after the toupee but Jesus had corralled it in a cumulus cloud before ushering it into the beyond with him.

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