Oh, You Have A Window Seat? Excuse Me While I Hover Over You The Entire Duration Of The Flight

I don’t need the window seat on this flight, what am I five? I’m an adult. I read paperback BOOKS on flights. But, please leave the shade UP…so I can have some light to read my paperback, of course. You seem to be irritated that I’m hovering over you to “look out the window” but that’s not what I’m doing. I’m trying to get more light to read my book.

…What are those? Clouds and…woah hold on, are those mountains? I’m just going to climb over you now and press my face against the glass. NOT because I need to look out the window but because it’s drafty in here and I could use the sun.

We might as well switch seats, you’re hogging all the sun. And it’s inconvenient that I have to climb over you to get some rays. Hey did you just push me? I know you didn’t but I need an excuse to press this flight attendant button and get you the hell out of the window seat.