Construction Workers Announce Plan To Make Site More Entertaining For Drivers By Adding Theatrics Like Jugglers

ROUTE 103 — Construction workers filling a pothole on Route 103 announced plans to make the work zone more “entertaining” and “fun” for passing drivers by adding theatrics such as acrobatics, juggling and maybe even a flamethrower to the mix.

“Right now, I just don’t think the construction zone is eye-catching enough for the amount of traffic we’re pulling in,” said Randy Buttons, a bobcat operator, who was attempting to juggle traffic cones as drivers slowed down and passed through.

“I don’t think we have it in the budget for high-end circus tricks like launching people out of cannons but I’m hopeful,” said site manager, Mary Piper, as she purchased 500 cones for juggling instead of buying asphalt to fill the pothole. “The pothole will just have to wait for now.”

“Are my tax dollars paying for this?” asked driver, Wendy Lahoot, as she was carefully directed around a construction worker who was tight-roping across the pothole on a measuring tape. “I always slow down and look to see what’s going on in a work zone but that doesn’t mean I need all this monkey business.”

“Monkeys! That’s exactly what we could use here.” said Randy as he jotted down that note.

Local juggler, Mitten Pockets, was more than miffed when he got wind of the construction workers’ plans for entertainment saying mediocre jugglers like himself should’ve been considered for the job.

“Not even once did I get asked if I would work the site. Instead they went out on their own attempting to learn a trade that takes hours, and in some cases, a whole afternoon, to perfect,” groaned Mittens as he started juggling pins in the air, “they’ll come crawling to me after a few days I’m sure of it,” continued Mittens confident that the construction workers would need and beg for his expertise.

A construction worker was seen attempting to train a monkey to do a back flip over the pothole while Mittens attempted to audition in front of the workers saying “that’s it I’ve become impatient!”