ONGOING: GPS Map On Phone Can't Keep Up With Speed At Which Idiot Getting Lost

MIDDLE OF NOWHERE - Local idiot, Danvers McPete, was seen with his SUV perched atop a mountain about 50 miles out of town late Sunday night.

“I left my house to get a swirly cone a mile down the street and the GPS managed to screw that up,” groaned Danvers as a literal satellite had to descend from the clouds to catch up and reroute Danvers yet again. “…At least the views nice,” said Danvers as his car rocked back and forth every time he blinked.

Satellite company, Maps R’ US, weighed in saying “this is not the first time a satellite came out of orbit for Danvers. The amount of wrong turns he makes overwhelms our satellites to the point of them descending and saying ‘what the actual f*ck is going on here?’”

Danvers was seen chucking his phone out the window saying “this thing is useless” and retrieving a paper map from his glovebox dated 1982 to try to find his way home.