Uh Oh! Drunkest Guy In Bar Wants To Play Darts

BUCKETS DIVE BAR — Against everyone’s best interests, the drunkest guy down at Buckets Dive Bar Friday evening has been repeatedly trying to play darts.

“He came up to me spilling his pale ale like Blackbeard the pirate with a dart in his hand saying ‘why don’t you play me in fly shots…unless you’re some type of coward!’”, said Linda Buttons who was eating fish n’ chips quietly at the counter shaking pepper 3 feet high atop her flounder as she recalled the experience. “I declined but he placed his beer on top of my head “as a cupholder” before whizzing a dart across the bar taking out a lightbulb.”

Bargoers attempted to talk the man into playing darts with “something safer like paper straws or a fork or something,” said fellow bar regular Pete even though forks would likely be as dangerous, if not more, than darts. “Whatever, as long as he doesn’t bother me I’m fine,” continued Pete as the drunk man tossed a dart taking Pete’s hat and toupee right off his head pinning it against the door.

The drunk man then moved on to walking right up to the dart board, placing the dart by hand in the middle yelling “bullseye baby!”